What Makes Relationships Bad for Sex

So on the heels of posting a study that derides casual sex, here is a post on how relationships can be bad for sex–and how infidelity might not be such a bad thing…

Here are excerpts from a book titled How to Think More About Sex. I have not read the book yet, but the excerpts are pretty interesting. This article touches on a lot of the realities of relationships and why they make sex difficult. We have known for a long time that commitment can be the destruction of passion, but this book appears to explore how that might happen.

I was just talking with a client about the appeal of “drama” in a relationship–it actually can make us feel more wanted. Commitment promotes reliability, but reliability also promotes taking for granted. Reliability feels awfully nice in a relationship, but a little instability in a relationship can make us feel wanted, even fought for. The risk is that the “drama” can manifest as disrespectful or destructive. Enthusiasm is another great (less risky) alternative to drama in making your partner feel wanted. The key, it would seem, is to offer reassurance that doesn’t lead to be taken for granted, which is tricky.

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About Denis "Woodja" Flanigan

A Licensed Psychologist in private practice in Houston, he received his M.S. in Psychology and Ph. D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Florida. He has over 10 years experience in working with high school and college students and adults in counseling centers, community mental health settings, and private practice addressing a wide range of psychological issues. He is an expert on non-traditional relationships and accepting of non-traditional belief systems.

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