Does your world feel like it has been turned upside down?

Life is full of changes, but some changes can leave us un-sure what to do or where to turn. Change often means that what we used to know, what used to make sense to us, doesn’t anymore. We live our lives knowing what to expect and then suddenly the world doesn’t make any sense—that’s what change can do to us.

What do you do when you partner leaves or dies? What do you do when you are relocated to a new city and don’t know anyone? What do you do when you retire or when your children leave home? What do you do when you realize that you are not the person you used to think you were?

Everyone faces difficult life-changing events. Sometimes these are changes we didn’t want, and sometimes these are ones we did. Either way, change can make us feel lost, stuck, or without direction—and sometimes even guilty about how we are feeling. Sometimes it can be confusing to feel good about the change, while at the same time wishing things were the way they used to be. The truth is that every change in our lives involves a form of grieving—whenever we experience change, we also experience loss.

What I’ve learned is that the pain from change is actually a form of grieving, and grieving is natural. Most of us, however, don’t know how to grieve. Many of us have learned to “endure” our losses and to be strong. However, sometimes, being strong means feeling your pain, your sorrow, your confusion. Sometimes the courageous choice is to acknowledge and express our pain.

The truth is that only through expressing our pain do we get relief from our pain. Finding a safe space to express our pain or a compassionate ear to listen can help ease the pain. Sometimes there are things that we can do to honor or even celebrate what we have lost through our change. It is also important to begin imagining life after the change.

However, sometimes it is hard to know how to celebrate what we lost because we miss it so much. Sometimes it is hard to imagine life after the change. Sometimes it can be hard to express our pain when we don’t know who will understand, who will listen. Sometimes we don’t want to burden our friends. Sometimes we feel ashamed expressing our pain or don’t feel safe sharing our loss.

Some people suffer alone, not knowing where to turn.

I’d like to help. I specialize in helping people deal with the pain of loss and difficult changes. I am here to listen to your story and share your pain. I respect your loss, your confusion, and your concerns. I recognize that your pain is real and valid. I help you discover how to embrace the change you are going through. I help you learn how to honor what you have lost without letting go of your past. I help you begin imagining and preparing for happiness.

Begin relieving your pain by calling me at 713-589-9804. Or email me at denisflanigan@houston-psychologist.com